How much will I not like this when we have kids? Or will it be more exciting to me because I'll get to go back to school shooping for supplies? Who doesn't love picking out a new binder, pens, and colored pencils? This may explain my love for Office Depot and Hobby Lobby!
Today was round two of orientation, and though it wasn't as chaotic, (younger parents don't feel obligated to talk to us - yet) it was just as slow and time - consuming. I did get rid of all but one shirt (any takes for a 2XL tee? Then there's the mandatory personnel policy speech and luncheon. To pass the time during the talk, we decided it would be fun to heckle our finance guy by writing snarky comments and flash them at him while he was speaking. No fun when he intentionally focuses over our heads. Oh well. At least we had fun with the concept. Then they sprung the pictures on us. Mandatory pictures for our ID badges (I think I only wear mine when I go up to the library so they don't try to send me "back to class". Typically, we do this during school photo time for the students, but they decided that today would be a good day - in the afternoon, when the little makeup I applied this morning disappeared with my allergic reaction to - let's face it, everything. Did anyone ever have a good school picture? If you are one of the .10% that actually did like your pictures, please don't rub it in.
Reasons why I think school pictures are doomed to be unflattering:
- The angle: The camera looking down is never a good angle and is always going to add to the chin, the flyaways, and the dark circles that are lurking.
- The lighting: Same as the camera; they are towering above the photographer, a good 4' feet over her head. Factor in the lowered seat that you've been ordered into, and you will have shadows under the eyes, around the neck, and in all of those places that you would rather disguise.
- The pose: On top of the angle and the lighting, you have the pose - leaning forward, shoulders turned to the left, head turned back to the right, and chin tilted down. Add another chin to my face, please!!! Sheesh! Now that you are uncomfortable and about to fall off of that "chair" (don't be fooled, it's just the case for the tripod) look up into the camera and SMILE!!! I guarantee the candids that our PTF took are going to be five times more flattering.
- The location: When will school photographers nix the gymnasium with the yellow glow from the wood floors and the green glow from the fluorescent lights that are twenty feet up? How about a little soft lighting, like you find in the auditorium? We could even balance out skin tones with some filters. It's not in use by anyone else, and hey, weren't we all just in there for the staff meeting?
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